Everything interesting happens in the dead zone . . .
One of my favorite cartoons of all time has a physicist in front of a huge blackboard that is filled with this vast, intricate, insanely complex calculation, checking his work with obvious satisfaction. All the way at the bottom, right in front of the final "=1", there's a parenthetical notation that reads:
"Here, a miracle happens."
When I plot a novel, most of it is scenes that I can jump into inside my head: it's like opening them on a hard drive, or accessing them on DVD. I touch them, and I'm there. These are easy for me to write, because I'm literally inside the scene and all I have to do is transcribe what happens: what's there, what it looks like, sounds like, smells like, feels like, who does what to whom, whatever.
But in between those scenes there are always "dead zones." Places where I know what's supposed to happen, but I can't quite see it. It's only mist. I can't bring it into focus.
Now, I can carve that mist into workable shapes. I can make a quality scene out of just about anything. I've done it, and I can do it again. But, y'know . . .
I keep discovering those dead zones are there for a reason.
Those of you who read the Caine novels know that they tend to be Big Picture stories -- that even though they take place in short periods of time and are focussed on specific incidents and problems, the fundamental interconnectedness of reality in my personal universe means that a story about anything is also a story about Everything . . .
When I stare into a dead zone long enough, the mist begins to clear, and son of a bitch, y'know, what I knew was supposed to happen wasn't supposed to happen at all. Or not the way I thought. And the story gets better than I thought it was going to be.
Who's in charge here, anyway?
Where's Bakker? I need a Derrida expert, because I'm beginning to suspect that the author really is irrelevant.
Everything interesting happens in the dead zone . . .
Friday, August 19
Wednesday, August 17
Friday, August 5
People.
Shut up for a minute.
This is NOT about whether there is a Higher Power in the universe. Or more than one universe. Or whatever the fuck.
Personally: I do not believe in the "supernatural." Because the "natural" is plenty -- it is, in fact, everything. I am a pagan pantheist. To me, there is nothing that is not God.
Not even President Bush, but let that go . . .
I've been haunted by real, actual ghosts (as those who followed my RotS tour blog will recall). I do energy work; I have felt the power of kundalini and chi (which ain't the same thing, by the way -- and don't argue with me, I speak from experience), as well as reiki. I am, in fact, a reiki master. I have felt things -- and done things -- that science cannot explain.
I know things exist beyond the realm of current scientific verification.
Shit, that's why I write fantasy. Because novels without magick are not the truth.
However, none of these phenomena are supernatural. They are natural. We just don't have the science to measure them yet.
Which means WE SHOULDN'T BE TEACHING THEM IN SCIENCE CLASS.
Get it? Science is not about whether something is true. Science is about whether something is verifiable.
You want to talk about truth, go study philosophy.
And Intelligent Design is the WORST thing we could be teaching in a public school science class, because it is an EXPLICIT STATE ENDORSEMENT OF A RELIGIOUS DOCTRINE.
Period.
Those of you who are interested in the politics of it might want to check out Paul Krugman's column in today's NYTimes.
[an aside to David Welch --
Holy Shit, dude -- doesn't a Major League pitcher make enough money to get a decent education? Or have the 'roids gone to your brain?
But thanks so much for playing. Vanna, show him his parting gifts.]
Shut up for a minute.
This is NOT about whether there is a Higher Power in the universe. Or more than one universe. Or whatever the fuck.
Personally: I do not believe in the "supernatural." Because the "natural" is plenty -- it is, in fact, everything. I am a pagan pantheist. To me, there is nothing that is not God.
Not even President Bush, but let that go . . .
I've been haunted by real, actual ghosts (as those who followed my RotS tour blog will recall). I do energy work; I have felt the power of kundalini and chi (which ain't the same thing, by the way -- and don't argue with me, I speak from experience), as well as reiki. I am, in fact, a reiki master. I have felt things -- and done things -- that science cannot explain.
I know things exist beyond the realm of current scientific verification.
Shit, that's why I write fantasy. Because novels without magick are not the truth.
However, none of these phenomena are supernatural. They are natural. We just don't have the science to measure them yet.
Which means WE SHOULDN'T BE TEACHING THEM IN SCIENCE CLASS.
Get it? Science is not about whether something is true. Science is about whether something is verifiable.
You want to talk about truth, go study philosophy.
And Intelligent Design is the WORST thing we could be teaching in a public school science class, because it is an EXPLICIT STATE ENDORSEMENT OF A RELIGIOUS DOCTRINE.
Period.
Those of you who are interested in the politics of it might want to check out Paul Krugman's column in today's NYTimes.
[an aside to David Welch --
Holy Shit, dude -- doesn't a Major League pitcher make enough money to get a decent education? Or have the 'roids gone to your brain?
But thanks so much for playing. Vanna, show him his parting gifts.]
Wednesday, August 3
Just for a change of pace . . .
I'm NOT gonna bash Bush for being a moron.
He is, but this time I'm after the press.
So Shrub gets up on his hind legs and tells some TexAss reporters that he believes "the theory of intelligent design" should be taught alongside the theory of evolution in our nation's science classes, because students should be exposed to both sides of the debate.
So he's a moron. As is anyone else who thinks "intelligent design" is science.
I don't have a problem with the argument itself. It may even have some merit. I'm no atheist -- personally, I agree with Stephen Colbert that atheists are merely people who have chosen to abandon the worship of a higher being in favor of worshipping their own sense of smug superiority. [Sorry, Scotty -- but you've gotta admit it's a pretty good line. What do you expect from a guy with a Libertarian moustache?]
I don't even have any problem with Intelligent Design being taught -- but it should be confined to social studies classes, where it belongs. Unless you're in a religious school, in which case they can teach you whatever they want, as long as they're not using my tax dollars to do it.
This is why I'm after the press.
They keep saying "the THEORY of intelligent design" [caps mine, of course], sometimes in the same breath with the theory of evolution.
Let me say this nice and loud, so there is no misunderstanding, here:
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A THEORY OF INTELLIGENT DESIGN.
Not in the scientific sense.
That pisses me off as much as the idiots who keep saying, "Well, Eeevil-ution's just a THEORY . . ."
Which is why I'm gonna take a minute here an explain to the morons -- which include, I'm sad to say, our national press corps -- what a theory is in the scientific sense.
It is, at its most basic form, a coherent group of general propositions used as principles of explanation for a class of phenomena.
When one moves a theory into the scientific realm, however, one adds the element of testability.
Let me say that again.
TESTABILITY, YOU MORONS.
That is: you can use the theory to generate new hypotheses about as-yet unobserved phenomena, which can then be investigated. If they prove to be consistent with the theory, then the theory stands. If they are not, the theory is changed until it is consistent with ALL OBSERVED FACTS.
With evolution, we can even observe its action in short-lived organisms in a junior-high biology lab. We see it in action every day. Antibiotic-resistant bacteria, anyone? Anyone? Mr. Bush? Senator Frist?
THERE IS NO TESTABLE HYPOTHESIS FOR INTELLIGENT DESIGN.
Not one.
We cannot see Intelligent Design in action. It is BY DEFINITION mysterious and unknowable, occurring by the action of a deliberately-undefined supernatural force.
Therefore it is not a theory. It cannot be a theory.
STOP CALLING IT A THEORY, YOU MORONS.
Call it an argument. Call it an explanation. A rationale. Call it a Faith-Based Program -- the Bushitters love those. You're goddamn journalists, aren't you? Isn't it your job to get the facts?
The fact is: it's not a theory. When you call it one, you're engaging in partisan rhetoric, not journalism.
What does it take to get through to these people?
Sure, they don't have science educations -- but neither do I. My college degree was in THEATRE, for shit's sake.
Get it right.
I'm NOT gonna bash Bush for being a moron.
He is, but this time I'm after the press.
So Shrub gets up on his hind legs and tells some TexAss reporters that he believes "the theory of intelligent design" should be taught alongside the theory of evolution in our nation's science classes, because students should be exposed to both sides of the debate.
So he's a moron. As is anyone else who thinks "intelligent design" is science.
I don't have a problem with the argument itself. It may even have some merit. I'm no atheist -- personally, I agree with Stephen Colbert that atheists are merely people who have chosen to abandon the worship of a higher being in favor of worshipping their own sense of smug superiority. [Sorry, Scotty -- but you've gotta admit it's a pretty good line. What do you expect from a guy with a Libertarian moustache?]
I don't even have any problem with Intelligent Design being taught -- but it should be confined to social studies classes, where it belongs. Unless you're in a religious school, in which case they can teach you whatever they want, as long as they're not using my tax dollars to do it.
This is why I'm after the press.
They keep saying "the THEORY of intelligent design" [caps mine, of course], sometimes in the same breath with the theory of evolution.
Let me say this nice and loud, so there is no misunderstanding, here:
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A THEORY OF INTELLIGENT DESIGN.
Not in the scientific sense.
That pisses me off as much as the idiots who keep saying, "Well, Eeevil-ution's just a THEORY . . ."
Which is why I'm gonna take a minute here an explain to the morons -- which include, I'm sad to say, our national press corps -- what a theory is in the scientific sense.
It is, at its most basic form, a coherent group of general propositions used as principles of explanation for a class of phenomena.
When one moves a theory into the scientific realm, however, one adds the element of testability.
Let me say that again.
TESTABILITY, YOU MORONS.
That is: you can use the theory to generate new hypotheses about as-yet unobserved phenomena, which can then be investigated. If they prove to be consistent with the theory, then the theory stands. If they are not, the theory is changed until it is consistent with ALL OBSERVED FACTS.
With evolution, we can even observe its action in short-lived organisms in a junior-high biology lab. We see it in action every day. Antibiotic-resistant bacteria, anyone? Anyone? Mr. Bush? Senator Frist?
THERE IS NO TESTABLE HYPOTHESIS FOR INTELLIGENT DESIGN.
Not one.
We cannot see Intelligent Design in action. It is BY DEFINITION mysterious and unknowable, occurring by the action of a deliberately-undefined supernatural force.
Therefore it is not a theory. It cannot be a theory.
STOP CALLING IT A THEORY, YOU MORONS.
Call it an argument. Call it an explanation. A rationale. Call it a Faith-Based Program -- the Bushitters love those. You're goddamn journalists, aren't you? Isn't it your job to get the facts?
The fact is: it's not a theory. When you call it one, you're engaging in partisan rhetoric, not journalism.
What does it take to get through to these people?
Sure, they don't have science educations -- but neither do I. My college degree was in THEATRE, for shit's sake.
Get it right.
Monday, August 1
Hey, everybody
Hey, everybody . . .
Haven't been around much lately. I'll try to get better. Too busy with the book, and with living my life . . .
Random thoughts from the meanwhile:
Been thinking quite a bit about Nixon lately. Y'know, it was the Republicans who got rid of him -- after the press finally got off their asses. Well, the American press is slowly coming to life, but there is no sign that the Republicans will ever turn against Bush.
This, to my view, springs from one fundamental distinction between the two presidents: Nixon was poor white trash. [Well, not trash exactly, but the point remains. By comparison, anyway.]
Bush comes from the WASP Mafia -- and the Bush Family is legendary for the vengeance it wreaks upon its enemies . . .
Watch Saudi Arabia now that Fahd's really gone -- Abdullah looks like an honest man, who honestly hates our guts. He's an actual enemy of Islamist terrorism -- the word is that most of the real SA progress against the Islamist whackos has come directly from him -- but apparently he also hates the whole "looting the country and funnelling the cash through American oil companies" way of doing business, too . . .
Our relations with Saudi Arabia are about to get interesting, I think.
Our relations with Pakistan will continue to be See No Evil, despite the fact(s) that Pakistan is a totalitarian military dictatorship that sold nuclear weapons technology to North Korea (now common knowledge), despite the fact that Pakistan airlifted Taliban and Al Qaeda fighters out of the siege of Kandahar (cf. Seymour Hersh's CHAIN OF COMMAND), despite the fact that any woman, in that nation, who reports a rape can still to this day be routinely prosecuted for adultery unless she can producce FOUR MALE WITNESSES TO THE CRIME (cf. Nicholas Kristof's recent reports in the NYTimes for case histories).
But they're an Important Ally in the Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism.
For shit's sake.
And, in an entirely non-political note, I just wanted to let all you Caine fans know that the way things are going, it looks like I will successfully achieve my goal of fucking off the whole multiple-third viewpoint for CAINE BLACK KNIFE.
That's right.
Those of you who thought that the main problem with BLADE OF TYSHALLE was that Caine just Wasn't In It Enough, well . . .
I'm gonna make you very, very happy.
And those of you who felt that there just hasn't been enough Balls-Out Asskicking?
You're gonna be happy, too.
Haven't been around much lately. I'll try to get better. Too busy with the book, and with living my life . . .
Random thoughts from the meanwhile:
Been thinking quite a bit about Nixon lately. Y'know, it was the Republicans who got rid of him -- after the press finally got off their asses. Well, the American press is slowly coming to life, but there is no sign that the Republicans will ever turn against Bush.
This, to my view, springs from one fundamental distinction between the two presidents: Nixon was poor white trash. [Well, not trash exactly, but the point remains. By comparison, anyway.]
Bush comes from the WASP Mafia -- and the Bush Family is legendary for the vengeance it wreaks upon its enemies . . .
Watch Saudi Arabia now that Fahd's really gone -- Abdullah looks like an honest man, who honestly hates our guts. He's an actual enemy of Islamist terrorism -- the word is that most of the real SA progress against the Islamist whackos has come directly from him -- but apparently he also hates the whole "looting the country and funnelling the cash through American oil companies" way of doing business, too . . .
Our relations with Saudi Arabia are about to get interesting, I think.
Our relations with Pakistan will continue to be See No Evil, despite the fact(s) that Pakistan is a totalitarian military dictatorship that sold nuclear weapons technology to North Korea (now common knowledge), despite the fact that Pakistan airlifted Taliban and Al Qaeda fighters out of the siege of Kandahar (cf. Seymour Hersh's CHAIN OF COMMAND), despite the fact that any woman, in that nation, who reports a rape can still to this day be routinely prosecuted for adultery unless she can producce FOUR MALE WITNESSES TO THE CRIME (cf. Nicholas Kristof's recent reports in the NYTimes for case histories).
But they're an Important Ally in the Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism.
For shit's sake.
And, in an entirely non-political note, I just wanted to let all you Caine fans know that the way things are going, it looks like I will successfully achieve my goal of fucking off the whole multiple-third viewpoint for CAINE BLACK KNIFE.
That's right.
Those of you who thought that the main problem with BLADE OF TYSHALLE was that Caine just Wasn't In It Enough, well . . .
I'm gonna make you very, very happy.
And those of you who felt that there just hasn't been enough Balls-Out Asskicking?
You're gonna be happy, too.
Monday, July 11
A Festival of Fools
Christ, it's fun to bitchslap the troll, isn't it?
From his consistent misuse of basic English and inability to punctuate, I presume there's just one. There might be two, though I hope the odds would be against it -- one shudders to think that two minds might similarly compose with such astonishing anti-erudition.
Here's the funny thing:
This blog's more active when I DON'T post here.
I am, however, curious just what it was the troll wanted someone to "say to a Special Forces face" [sic]. Whatever it was, I'll happily say it to HIS face. Words are just words. Whoever said "Words can hit as hard as a fist" didn't train at my school.
At any rate, we stumble merrily along. I can hardly wait to see Karl Rove under federal indictment. Any bets on whether Patrick Fitzgerald has the stones to really throw the book at him? My money's on "inadvertent disclosure," and criminal case closed . . . until the Wilsons file a civil suit. That's where the fun will REALLY start.
Wonder if the Supreme Court will follow precedent and let the Wilsons' lawyers depose a sitting President?
By the way, I've stopped agitating for a Bush impeachment -- that'd leave Cheney in power, which would be worse. Bush at least still looks a little embarrassed when he lies. As ineffectual as they've been lately (i.e. Social Security), I'm wondering if the country might not be better off if we just left them in place, safely neutered, until 2008 . . .
From his consistent misuse of basic English and inability to punctuate, I presume there's just one. There might be two, though I hope the odds would be against it -- one shudders to think that two minds might similarly compose with such astonishing anti-erudition.
Here's the funny thing:
This blog's more active when I DON'T post here.
I am, however, curious just what it was the troll wanted someone to "say to a Special Forces face" [sic]. Whatever it was, I'll happily say it to HIS face. Words are just words. Whoever said "Words can hit as hard as a fist" didn't train at my school.
At any rate, we stumble merrily along. I can hardly wait to see Karl Rove under federal indictment. Any bets on whether Patrick Fitzgerald has the stones to really throw the book at him? My money's on "inadvertent disclosure," and criminal case closed . . . until the Wilsons file a civil suit. That's where the fun will REALLY start.
Wonder if the Supreme Court will follow precedent and let the Wilsons' lawyers depose a sitting President?
By the way, I've stopped agitating for a Bush impeachment -- that'd leave Cheney in power, which would be worse. Bush at least still looks a little embarrassed when he lies. As ineffectual as they've been lately (i.e. Social Security), I'm wondering if the country might not be better off if we just left them in place, safely neutered, until 2008 . . .
Friday, July 1
Can I just say here how wonderful it is that President Bush has declared all America is a hostage?
That we now have no choice but to stick to the bloody course his lies have set for us?
Gosh, that's swell.
Especially considering that we have managed to make Iraq into the planet's #1 training ground for international terrorists.
Especially considering that we still haven't even won the bloody war in AFGHANISTAN.
That helicopter full of our Best and Brightest -- gods help us: Airborne special forces and Navy SEALs on a rescue mission -- was shot down (which their courage and splendid skills doesn't exactly help them survive, y'know?) by the fucking TALIBAN.
Does anybody remember them?
That war's not over. But we don't have enough people left to fight it. Because we're consumed with Bush's uselessly stupid political adventure in Iraq.
I'm a little angry about this.
Can the War in Iraq be won? Very likely.
Can it be won by the idiots in the current Administration?
I don't see it. I just don't see it.
I'm going now.
Shit, people think my BOOKS are dark. They should talk to some of these poor bastards to have to live through what's going on over there.
And I don't mean just the Americans.
That we now have no choice but to stick to the bloody course his lies have set for us?
Gosh, that's swell.
Especially considering that we have managed to make Iraq into the planet's #1 training ground for international terrorists.
Especially considering that we still haven't even won the bloody war in AFGHANISTAN.
That helicopter full of our Best and Brightest -- gods help us: Airborne special forces and Navy SEALs on a rescue mission -- was shot down (which their courage and splendid skills doesn't exactly help them survive, y'know?) by the fucking TALIBAN.
Does anybody remember them?
That war's not over. But we don't have enough people left to fight it. Because we're consumed with Bush's uselessly stupid political adventure in Iraq.
I'm a little angry about this.
Can the War in Iraq be won? Very likely.
Can it be won by the idiots in the current Administration?
I don't see it. I just don't see it.
I'm going now.
Shit, people think my BOOKS are dark. They should talk to some of these poor bastards to have to live through what's going on over there.
And I don't mean just the Americans.
Friday, June 24
Reprinted without commentary from Alexandra Walker's TomPaine.com article at
http://www.tompaine.com/uncommonsense/index.php#5338
Because this says as much as needs to be said.
The White House is feeling the heat over Iraq and Guantanamo, so Karl Rove tries to change the subject. With public disapproval about Iraq growing and more lawmakers willing to step up and criticize Bush's war and human rights record, Rove reaches into his diversionary bag of tricks and pulls out the worn, dog-eared accusation that liberals are pansies. In ridiculing groups like MoveOn for counseling "moderation and restraint" in the days following 9/11, Rove must never have expected a 9/11 widow to come to the wimpy liberals' defense.
At 30, Kristen Breitweiser lost her husband in the World Trade Center attacks. She says the attacks left her with "no faith in my government." The tragedy transformed her into a citizen activist—-well-known for her efforts with the other "Jersey Girls " to hold the government accountable for investigating 9/11. Four years later, Breitweiser has become the most credible kind of advocate for sanity after 9/11—-she has the authority as someone who has befallen great tragedy to advocate against policies based on revenge and fear.
And she is no less than outraged about the choices the United States has made since the attacks. I heard her speak recently about these choices at an awards ceremony where she was honored for "truth-telling." She condemned the Bush administration's choice to pass the PATRIOT Act rather than open up and restore trust in government. And the choice to invade oil-rich countries instead of pursuing alternative energy resources to decrease our dependency on foreign oil. To read her powerful speech, click here . [EDIT: sorry no link; you can find it in the original on TomPaine.com --MWS]
Yesterday, on HuffingtonPost, Breitweiser unleashed on Rove for exploiting 9/11 once again for political gain. Here are some excerpts.
-- Now Karl, a question for you, since you seem to be the nation's self-styled sensei with regard to 9/11: Is Usama Bin Laden still important? Lately, your coterie of friends seems to be giving out mixed messages. Recall that in the early days, Bin Laden was wanted “dead or alive.” Then when Bin Laden slipped through your fingertips in Tora Bora, you downgraded his importance. We were told that Bin Laden was a "desperate man on the run,” and a person that President Bush was not "too worried about". Yet, whenever I saw Bin Laden's videos, he looked much too comfortable to actually be a man on the run. He looked tan, rested, and calm. He certainly didn't look the way I wanted the murderer of almost 3,000 innocent people to look: unkempt, panicked, and cowering in a corner.
-- Karl, I mention Bin Laden because recently Director of the CIA, Porter Goss, has mentioned that he knows exactly where Bin Laden is located but that he cannot capture him for fear of offending sovereign nations. Which frankly, I find ironic because of Iraq--and let's just leave it at that. But, when you say that “moderation and restraint” don't work in fighting terrorists, maybe you should share those comments with Mr. Goss because he doesn't seem to be on the same page as you. Unless of course, Porter is holding out to announce that Bin Laden is in Iran. (Karl, I want Bin Laden brought to justice, but not if it means starting a war with Iran - a country that possesses nuclear weaponry. The idea of nuclear fallout in any quadrant of the world is just not an acceptable means to any ends, be it capturing Bin Laden, oil or drugs. But, Afghanistan and Bin Laden are old news. Iraq is the story of today. And of course, it appears that Iran will be the story of next month. But, I digress.)
-- More to the point, Karl when you say, “Conservatives saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and prepared for war,” what exactly did you do to prepare for your war? Did your preparations include: sound intelligence to warrant your actions; a reasonable entry and exit strategy coupled with a coherent plan to carry out that strategy; the proper training and equipment for the troops you were sending in to fight your war? Did you follow the advice of experts such as General Shinseki who correctly advised you about the troop levels needed to actually succeed in Iraq? No, you didn't.
-- It has always been America's policy that you only place soldiers' lives in harm's way when it is absolutely necessary and the absolute last resort. When you send troops into combat you support those troops by providing them with proper equipment and training. Why didn't you do that with the troops that you sent into Iraq? Why weren't their vehicles armored? Why didn't they have protective vests? Why weren't they properly trained about the rules of interrogation? And Karl, when our troops come home — be it tragically in body bags or with missing limbs — you should honor and acknowledge their service to their country. You shouldn't hide them by bringing them home in the dark of night. Most importantly, you should take care of them for the long haul by giving them substantial veteran's benefits and care. To me, that is being patriotic. To me, that is how you support our troops. To me, that is how you show that you know the value of a human life given for its country.
-- For the record Karl, does Iraq have any connection to the 9/11 attacks? Because, you and your friends with your collective “understanding of 9/11” seem to be contradicting yourselves about the Iraq-9/11 connection, too. First, we were told that we went to war with Iraq because it was linked to the 9/11 attacks. Then, your rationale was changed to "Iraq has WMD". Then you told us that we needed to invade Iraq because Saddam was a "bad man". And now it turns out that we are in Iraq to bring them "democracy."
-- Of course, the Downing Street memo clarifies many of these things, but for the record Karl: Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11; there were few terrorists in Iraq before our invasion, but now Iraq is a terrorist hot-bed. America had the sympathy and support of the whole world before Iraq. Now, thanks to your actions, we find ourselves hated and alienated by the rest of the world. Al Qaeda's recruitment took a nose-dive after the 9/11 attacks, but has now skyrocketed since your invasion of Iraq; and most importantly, nearly 2,000 U.S. soldiers have been killed because of your war in Iraq. These facts speak for themselves. (And, they speak very little about effectively winning any war on terror.)
-- Karl, you say you “understand” 9/11. Then why did you and your friends so vehemently oppose the creation of a 9/11 Independent Commission? Once the commission was established, why did you refuse to properly fund the Commission by allotting it only a $3 million budget? Why did you refuse to allow access to documents and witnesses for the 9/11 Commissioners? Why did we have to fight so hard for an extension when the Commissioners told us that they needed more time due to your footdragging and stonewalling? Why didn't you want to cooperate so that all Americans could “understand” what happened on 9/11?
[SNIP]
-- Karl, if you “understand 9/11”, then why don't you understand that until we have a more environmentally friendly energy policy, we cannot effectively fight the war on terrorism. By being dependent on foreign oil, we have no choice but to cozy up to nations that sponsor terrorists. Moreover, because of oil, we may end up placing our troops and our nation at greater risk by having to invade certain oil-rich countries. Our invasion of these countries merely serves to inflame would-be terrorists by reinforcing their notion that we are gluttonous and self-centered -- invading sovereign nations solely to steal their oil. Forgive me Karl, but is that how you think you "win hearts and minds"? Does that help in any way to "spread democracy"?
-- Finally Karl, please “understand” that the reason we have not suffered a repeat attack on our homeland is because Bin Laden no longer needs to attack us. Those of us with a pure and comprehensive “understanding of 9/11” know that Bin Laden committed the 9/11 attacks so he could increase recruitment for al Qaeda and increase worldwide hatred of America. That didn't happen. Because after 9/11, the world united with Americans and al Qaeda's recruitment levels never increased.
-- It was only after your invasion of Iraq, that Bin Laden's goals were met. Because of your war in Iraq two things happened that helped Bin Laden and the terrorists: al Qaeda recruitment soared and the United States is now alienated from and hated by the rest of the world. In effect, what Bin Laden could not achieve by murdering my husband and 3,000 others on 9/11, you handed to him on a silver platter with your invasion of Iraq - a country that had nothing to do with 9/11.
-- Which leads me to my final questions for you Karl: What are your motives when it comes to 9/11 and are you really sure that you understand 9/11?
Bravo, Kristen. Way to keep Karl on topic.
--Alexandra Walker | Friday 11:21 AM
http://www.tompaine.com/uncommonsense/index.php#5338
Because this says as much as needs to be said.
The White House is feeling the heat over Iraq and Guantanamo, so Karl Rove tries to change the subject. With public disapproval about Iraq growing and more lawmakers willing to step up and criticize Bush's war and human rights record, Rove reaches into his diversionary bag of tricks and pulls out the worn, dog-eared accusation that liberals are pansies. In ridiculing groups like MoveOn for counseling "moderation and restraint" in the days following 9/11, Rove must never have expected a 9/11 widow to come to the wimpy liberals' defense.
At 30, Kristen Breitweiser lost her husband in the World Trade Center attacks. She says the attacks left her with "no faith in my government." The tragedy transformed her into a citizen activist—-well-known for her efforts with the other "Jersey Girls " to hold the government accountable for investigating 9/11. Four years later, Breitweiser has become the most credible kind of advocate for sanity after 9/11—-she has the authority as someone who has befallen great tragedy to advocate against policies based on revenge and fear.
And she is no less than outraged about the choices the United States has made since the attacks. I heard her speak recently about these choices at an awards ceremony where she was honored for "truth-telling." She condemned the Bush administration's choice to pass the PATRIOT Act rather than open up and restore trust in government. And the choice to invade oil-rich countries instead of pursuing alternative energy resources to decrease our dependency on foreign oil. To read her powerful speech, click here . [EDIT: sorry no link; you can find it in the original on TomPaine.com --MWS]
Yesterday, on HuffingtonPost, Breitweiser unleashed on Rove for exploiting 9/11 once again for political gain. Here are some excerpts.
-- Now Karl, a question for you, since you seem to be the nation's self-styled sensei with regard to 9/11: Is Usama Bin Laden still important? Lately, your coterie of friends seems to be giving out mixed messages. Recall that in the early days, Bin Laden was wanted “dead or alive.” Then when Bin Laden slipped through your fingertips in Tora Bora, you downgraded his importance. We were told that Bin Laden was a "desperate man on the run,” and a person that President Bush was not "too worried about". Yet, whenever I saw Bin Laden's videos, he looked much too comfortable to actually be a man on the run. He looked tan, rested, and calm. He certainly didn't look the way I wanted the murderer of almost 3,000 innocent people to look: unkempt, panicked, and cowering in a corner.
-- Karl, I mention Bin Laden because recently Director of the CIA, Porter Goss, has mentioned that he knows exactly where Bin Laden is located but that he cannot capture him for fear of offending sovereign nations. Which frankly, I find ironic because of Iraq--and let's just leave it at that. But, when you say that “moderation and restraint” don't work in fighting terrorists, maybe you should share those comments with Mr. Goss because he doesn't seem to be on the same page as you. Unless of course, Porter is holding out to announce that Bin Laden is in Iran. (Karl, I want Bin Laden brought to justice, but not if it means starting a war with Iran - a country that possesses nuclear weaponry. The idea of nuclear fallout in any quadrant of the world is just not an acceptable means to any ends, be it capturing Bin Laden, oil or drugs. But, Afghanistan and Bin Laden are old news. Iraq is the story of today. And of course, it appears that Iran will be the story of next month. But, I digress.)
-- More to the point, Karl when you say, “Conservatives saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and prepared for war,” what exactly did you do to prepare for your war? Did your preparations include: sound intelligence to warrant your actions; a reasonable entry and exit strategy coupled with a coherent plan to carry out that strategy; the proper training and equipment for the troops you were sending in to fight your war? Did you follow the advice of experts such as General Shinseki who correctly advised you about the troop levels needed to actually succeed in Iraq? No, you didn't.
-- It has always been America's policy that you only place soldiers' lives in harm's way when it is absolutely necessary and the absolute last resort. When you send troops into combat you support those troops by providing them with proper equipment and training. Why didn't you do that with the troops that you sent into Iraq? Why weren't their vehicles armored? Why didn't they have protective vests? Why weren't they properly trained about the rules of interrogation? And Karl, when our troops come home — be it tragically in body bags or with missing limbs — you should honor and acknowledge their service to their country. You shouldn't hide them by bringing them home in the dark of night. Most importantly, you should take care of them for the long haul by giving them substantial veteran's benefits and care. To me, that is being patriotic. To me, that is how you support our troops. To me, that is how you show that you know the value of a human life given for its country.
-- For the record Karl, does Iraq have any connection to the 9/11 attacks? Because, you and your friends with your collective “understanding of 9/11” seem to be contradicting yourselves about the Iraq-9/11 connection, too. First, we were told that we went to war with Iraq because it was linked to the 9/11 attacks. Then, your rationale was changed to "Iraq has WMD". Then you told us that we needed to invade Iraq because Saddam was a "bad man". And now it turns out that we are in Iraq to bring them "democracy."
-- Of course, the Downing Street memo clarifies many of these things, but for the record Karl: Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11; there were few terrorists in Iraq before our invasion, but now Iraq is a terrorist hot-bed. America had the sympathy and support of the whole world before Iraq. Now, thanks to your actions, we find ourselves hated and alienated by the rest of the world. Al Qaeda's recruitment took a nose-dive after the 9/11 attacks, but has now skyrocketed since your invasion of Iraq; and most importantly, nearly 2,000 U.S. soldiers have been killed because of your war in Iraq. These facts speak for themselves. (And, they speak very little about effectively winning any war on terror.)
-- Karl, you say you “understand” 9/11. Then why did you and your friends so vehemently oppose the creation of a 9/11 Independent Commission? Once the commission was established, why did you refuse to properly fund the Commission by allotting it only a $3 million budget? Why did you refuse to allow access to documents and witnesses for the 9/11 Commissioners? Why did we have to fight so hard for an extension when the Commissioners told us that they needed more time due to your footdragging and stonewalling? Why didn't you want to cooperate so that all Americans could “understand” what happened on 9/11?
[SNIP]
-- Karl, if you “understand 9/11”, then why don't you understand that until we have a more environmentally friendly energy policy, we cannot effectively fight the war on terrorism. By being dependent on foreign oil, we have no choice but to cozy up to nations that sponsor terrorists. Moreover, because of oil, we may end up placing our troops and our nation at greater risk by having to invade certain oil-rich countries. Our invasion of these countries merely serves to inflame would-be terrorists by reinforcing their notion that we are gluttonous and self-centered -- invading sovereign nations solely to steal their oil. Forgive me Karl, but is that how you think you "win hearts and minds"? Does that help in any way to "spread democracy"?
-- Finally Karl, please “understand” that the reason we have not suffered a repeat attack on our homeland is because Bin Laden no longer needs to attack us. Those of us with a pure and comprehensive “understanding of 9/11” know that Bin Laden committed the 9/11 attacks so he could increase recruitment for al Qaeda and increase worldwide hatred of America. That didn't happen. Because after 9/11, the world united with Americans and al Qaeda's recruitment levels never increased.
-- It was only after your invasion of Iraq, that Bin Laden's goals were met. Because of your war in Iraq two things happened that helped Bin Laden and the terrorists: al Qaeda recruitment soared and the United States is now alienated from and hated by the rest of the world. In effect, what Bin Laden could not achieve by murdering my husband and 3,000 others on 9/11, you handed to him on a silver platter with your invasion of Iraq - a country that had nothing to do with 9/11.
-- Which leads me to my final questions for you Karl: What are your motives when it comes to 9/11 and are you really sure that you understand 9/11?
Bravo, Kristen. Way to keep Karl on topic.
--Alexandra Walker | Friday 11:21 AM
Wednesday, June 22
Ahhh, crap
Holy shit, I'm alive.
I really am. I just haven't been feeling too great since the end of the Huge Motherfucking StarWarsTourFromHell, and all of my feeble energies have been directed toward reassembling my shattered life and trying to develop a head of steam on CAINE BLACK KNIFE.
Which I have.
Listen: nobody panic if I'm not around from time to time. I'm really fucking durable (not unlike some of the people I write about), and while being me is not exactly an endless weekend at Disney World, I still enjoy it enough that I will continue doing so until somebody stops me by force.
By the way, have I mentioned that Disney World is really cool? The people down there treated Robyn and me like rock stars, and the rides were great (the DW Space Mountain has to be the single niftiest rollercoaster I've ever been on, and I've been on more than my share), and Animal World or whatever the hell it's called is the coolest zoo I have ever been in, and I've been in more than my share of those, too. In fact, we had such a great time we're going back in 2006, after they finish Everest the Forbidden Mountain -- a rollercoaster that loops INSIDE a scale-model replica of Mount Everest that's gotta be 300 feet tall . . .
And was that really Gregg friggin' Dale posting down there? Holy shit. It's only been what, twenty-five years since I've seen you? And at least five or ten since we've exchanged emails, huh . . . ?
For those of you wondering if I went to high school with you, Gregg will attest that it just ain't so. Trust me -- if you'd gone to school with us, you'd remember. Everybody does. For better or worse.
So anyway, I'm back, at least temporarily. I'll be available for questions, commentary and sage advice. Mostly I'll be working on CBK and waiting for the Downing Street Memo to get enough airplay that even the Republicans can no longer avoid impeaching our Cocksmoke-in-Chief.
I really am. I just haven't been feeling too great since the end of the Huge Motherfucking StarWarsTourFromHell, and all of my feeble energies have been directed toward reassembling my shattered life and trying to develop a head of steam on CAINE BLACK KNIFE.
Which I have.
Listen: nobody panic if I'm not around from time to time. I'm really fucking durable (not unlike some of the people I write about), and while being me is not exactly an endless weekend at Disney World, I still enjoy it enough that I will continue doing so until somebody stops me by force.
By the way, have I mentioned that Disney World is really cool? The people down there treated Robyn and me like rock stars, and the rides were great (the DW Space Mountain has to be the single niftiest rollercoaster I've ever been on, and I've been on more than my share), and Animal World or whatever the hell it's called is the coolest zoo I have ever been in, and I've been in more than my share of those, too. In fact, we had such a great time we're going back in 2006, after they finish Everest the Forbidden Mountain -- a rollercoaster that loops INSIDE a scale-model replica of Mount Everest that's gotta be 300 feet tall . . .
And was that really Gregg friggin' Dale posting down there? Holy shit. It's only been what, twenty-five years since I've seen you? And at least five or ten since we've exchanged emails, huh . . . ?
For those of you wondering if I went to high school with you, Gregg will attest that it just ain't so. Trust me -- if you'd gone to school with us, you'd remember. Everybody does. For better or worse.
So anyway, I'm back, at least temporarily. I'll be available for questions, commentary and sage advice. Mostly I'll be working on CBK and waiting for the Downing Street Memo to get enough airplay that even the Republicans can no longer avoid impeaching our Cocksmoke-in-Chief.
Saturday, April 16
Well, crap.
I'm writing this from the armpit of international airports, the L.C. Smith Terminal at Detroit Metro. I was lucky enough to be hauled out of my hotel three hours before my flight -- and just before room service opens (the hotel restaurant is under construction, wouldn't you just know it) -- so I got here hungry and entirely decaffeinated . . .
Now, there IS a Starbucks. Of course. So that part is handled. The only restaurant in the ENTIRE TERMINAL is one pathetic cafeteria-line Quiznos that doesn't even have tables. The rest of the terminal strongly evokes a 70s-era Greyhound bus station, but without the charm.
So . . .
Minneapolis.
Wow.
The less said about the actual event, the better. Doing my Phil Donohue-on-crack impression from a stage in the four-story atrium of the Mall of America is an experience that will linger in my heart like the memory of my first colonoscopy. I won't deny a certain entertainment value: in that particular episode of the Movie of My Life, I think I was being played by Ben Stiller.
The fans, however, were not only tolerant in indulging my Thundering Four-Story Chrome-and-Glass Meltdown, but were enthusiastically egging me on . . .
Then dinner afterward, in which the astonishingly courageous Rebekah of the Minnesota FanForce braved my gang of Dead Cities hooligans and actually held her own, too. Even my smilingly wicked niece couldn't make her cry . . .
I won't go into details of the Dead Cities gang (plus friends and such) either, except to thank them for coming out -- Scott and Jenn and gabe and Joe and Claudia and Tom and Sarah (Did I get everybody's Real Name right?) -- largely because at least two of them are shortly to become considerably more famous than I am, and frankly, they just don't need the press.
Then off to Detroit, where my main memory is this friggin' airport, because my flight was delayed and there was a High-Speed Chase on the expressway (for real, and really serious, too: bank robbers and a shootout and injuries, and no jokes about it) which tangled up the roads, so we went straight from the airport to the event -- where Tom and Donna, Eldest Brother and Most Fabulous Sister-in-Law, were waiting -- and then from the event to the Original Borders store in Ann Arbor (which sleepy little college town ain't sleepy at all but in fact is HOPPIN' after eleven, would you believe it?) and then into bed after midnight, with the 5:30 wake-up so that I could catch the friggin' car and sit in this friggin' Greyhound terminal of an airport and whine about the hard life of the World Famous Star Wars Author.
Have I mentioned that I'm having a great time?
So I'm about to jump on a flight to Denver, where I actually get to stay TWO DAYS (thanks be to the gods, and to Colleen and Brandi) so that I can spend Saturday afternoon asleep in the mountain air . . .
I'm writing this from the armpit of international airports, the L.C. Smith Terminal at Detroit Metro. I was lucky enough to be hauled out of my hotel three hours before my flight -- and just before room service opens (the hotel restaurant is under construction, wouldn't you just know it) -- so I got here hungry and entirely decaffeinated . . .
Now, there IS a Starbucks. Of course. So that part is handled. The only restaurant in the ENTIRE TERMINAL is one pathetic cafeteria-line Quiznos that doesn't even have tables. The rest of the terminal strongly evokes a 70s-era Greyhound bus station, but without the charm.
So . . .
Minneapolis.
Wow.
The less said about the actual event, the better. Doing my Phil Donohue-on-crack impression from a stage in the four-story atrium of the Mall of America is an experience that will linger in my heart like the memory of my first colonoscopy. I won't deny a certain entertainment value: in that particular episode of the Movie of My Life, I think I was being played by Ben Stiller.
The fans, however, were not only tolerant in indulging my Thundering Four-Story Chrome-and-Glass Meltdown, but were enthusiastically egging me on . . .
Then dinner afterward, in which the astonishingly courageous Rebekah of the Minnesota FanForce braved my gang of Dead Cities hooligans and actually held her own, too. Even my smilingly wicked niece couldn't make her cry . . .
I won't go into details of the Dead Cities gang (plus friends and such) either, except to thank them for coming out -- Scott and Jenn and gabe and Joe and Claudia and Tom and Sarah (Did I get everybody's Real Name right?) -- largely because at least two of them are shortly to become considerably more famous than I am, and frankly, they just don't need the press.
Then off to Detroit, where my main memory is this friggin' airport, because my flight was delayed and there was a High-Speed Chase on the expressway (for real, and really serious, too: bank robbers and a shootout and injuries, and no jokes about it) which tangled up the roads, so we went straight from the airport to the event -- where Tom and Donna, Eldest Brother and Most Fabulous Sister-in-Law, were waiting -- and then from the event to the Original Borders store in Ann Arbor (which sleepy little college town ain't sleepy at all but in fact is HOPPIN' after eleven, would you believe it?) and then into bed after midnight, with the 5:30 wake-up so that I could catch the friggin' car and sit in this friggin' Greyhound terminal of an airport and whine about the hard life of the World Famous Star Wars Author.
Have I mentioned that I'm having a great time?
So I'm about to jump on a flight to Denver, where I actually get to stay TWO DAYS (thanks be to the gods, and to Colleen and Brandi) so that I can spend Saturday afternoon asleep in the mountain air . . .
New York --
City of Beautiful People on Nasty-Ass Sidewalks . . .
Had a wonderful time here . . . my first visit. Spent an hour or so walking Times Square around midnight. Nobody tried to sell me anything: the guys with the $5.00 Rolexes and the $10.00 Guaranteed Designer Handbags just nodded as I went past. The poor bastard hading out free tickets to Comedy Central's Premium Blend just shrugged -- THERE's a job I don't envy . . . like running a carnival kissing-booth in a leper colony . . . Even the bums -- I guess in N'Yawk you call e'm panhandlers -- just smiled. "How's it goin', big guy?" Me:"Not bad. You?" Him:"Can't complain."
This from a bum that I'd seen -- not thirty seconds earlier -- summoning tears to work a dollar off a tourist. "Come ON, man, just a dollar, what's a dollar to YOU? You know how long it's been since I had sompin to eat? Come ON, have a heart, brother . . . "
Guess I looked sullen enough that everybody thought I live here.
Did an extended interview for Book Look TV, which was just about the most fun I've had on tour so far. The host is James Michael Tyler, who you FRIENDS fans out there will know as Gunther the Coffee Dude . . . who turns out to be warm, charming and astonishingly smart (especially for an actor -- I mean, jeez, you ever hear the story about the actor who was so stupid that the other actors NOTICED?) not to mention a hard-core SF geek from way, way back.
I mean HARD core. This guy even watches ENTERPRISE. Not because he LIKES it (I told you he's smart) but -- as near as I can tell -- he just has to keep feeding that SF addiction.
And what the hell, anyway. Not everything can be STAR WARS or the new BATTLESTAR GALACTICA.
He and Chuck Cirino -- the director -- really went all-out to help the book (and camera-newbie me) look as good as they could make it, and I'm really grateful. Not to mention that they -- along with Skye Van Raalte-Herzog (who is actually as cool as her name implies, which takes some doing) had the intestinal fortitude to sit through my entire event at the Union Square Barnes & Noble so they could get it on film -- and they STILL weren't sick of me . . .
We all went out to dinner afterwards at one of those Oh-So-So Chelsea bistros, with Colleen the Publicity Guru and Chris the Marketing Maven, and JMT (as us pretentious name-droppin' wannabe types call him) told a couple of stories about his FRIENDS-related visits to Amsterdam, having to do with a certain phrase he spoke in Dutch in a certain episode -- one I cannot repeat and refuse to translate -- which not only proved that nobody at the FCC speaks Dutch, but made him into a national hero in Holland and nearly had me spewing jerked pork and plaintain out my nose.
In brief, that's New York for you.
Now, on to the Promised Land of Consumer America . . . the Largest Mall On Earth.
Well, it used to be, anyway. And it's about to be again, I guess. I'm told they heard some place in Russia passed them up, so they paved over twelve surrounding counties to open an extra three bazillion Gaps.
In round numbers.
City of Beautiful People on Nasty-Ass Sidewalks . . .
Had a wonderful time here . . . my first visit. Spent an hour or so walking Times Square around midnight. Nobody tried to sell me anything: the guys with the $5.00 Rolexes and the $10.00 Guaranteed Designer Handbags just nodded as I went past. The poor bastard hading out free tickets to Comedy Central's Premium Blend just shrugged -- THERE's a job I don't envy . . . like running a carnival kissing-booth in a leper colony . . . Even the bums -- I guess in N'Yawk you call e'm panhandlers -- just smiled. "How's it goin', big guy?" Me:"Not bad. You?" Him:"Can't complain."
This from a bum that I'd seen -- not thirty seconds earlier -- summoning tears to work a dollar off a tourist. "Come ON, man, just a dollar, what's a dollar to YOU? You know how long it's been since I had sompin to eat? Come ON, have a heart, brother . . . "
Guess I looked sullen enough that everybody thought I live here.
Did an extended interview for Book Look TV, which was just about the most fun I've had on tour so far. The host is James Michael Tyler, who you FRIENDS fans out there will know as Gunther the Coffee Dude . . . who turns out to be warm, charming and astonishingly smart (especially for an actor -- I mean, jeez, you ever hear the story about the actor who was so stupid that the other actors NOTICED?) not to mention a hard-core SF geek from way, way back.
I mean HARD core. This guy even watches ENTERPRISE. Not because he LIKES it (I told you he's smart) but -- as near as I can tell -- he just has to keep feeding that SF addiction.
And what the hell, anyway. Not everything can be STAR WARS or the new BATTLESTAR GALACTICA.
He and Chuck Cirino -- the director -- really went all-out to help the book (and camera-newbie me) look as good as they could make it, and I'm really grateful. Not to mention that they -- along with Skye Van Raalte-Herzog (who is actually as cool as her name implies, which takes some doing) had the intestinal fortitude to sit through my entire event at the Union Square Barnes & Noble so they could get it on film -- and they STILL weren't sick of me . . .
We all went out to dinner afterwards at one of those Oh-So-So Chelsea bistros, with Colleen the Publicity Guru and Chris the Marketing Maven, and JMT (as us pretentious name-droppin' wannabe types call him) told a couple of stories about his FRIENDS-related visits to Amsterdam, having to do with a certain phrase he spoke in Dutch in a certain episode -- one I cannot repeat and refuse to translate -- which not only proved that nobody at the FCC speaks Dutch, but made him into a national hero in Holland and nearly had me spewing jerked pork and plaintain out my nose.
In brief, that's New York for you.
Now, on to the Promised Land of Consumer America . . . the Largest Mall On Earth.
Well, it used to be, anyway. And it's about to be again, I guess. I'm told they heard some place in Russia passed them up, so they paved over twelve surrounding counties to open an extra three bazillion Gaps.
In round numbers.
Tuesday, April 12
Dateline Chicago, April 11 --
Did my first LIVE TV interview, in the Fox Morning News studio with Tamron Hall and David Navarro. They were great -- it was just like chatting with somebody in their living room. Somebody you've never met before. In a living room with only one wall. And lots of cameras and really bright lights. For a total of three and a half minutes.
I haven't seen the tape yet, but I've been told it went really well.
When David Navarro pushed me for a spoiler, I told him "Jar-Jar Binks has a very, VERY tiny part . . ."
Which got applause from the camera crew and sound guy.
Then we whipped over to the Merchandise Mart to do the Mancow in the Morning show on WKQX FM -- Q101 to you Chicago types -- and those of you who live in Chicago know who the Mancow is already.
It was live. It was fun. It was half an hour of deflecting questions about whether Darth Vader is secretly gay and refers to his weapon as a . . . well, he could say it on the radio, but I'm not gonna put it in print on a G-rated AOL blog, that's for damn sure.
So I just gave him a flat deadpan that all this was covered by the confidentiality clause in my contract . . .
Anyway, he turns out to be a really friendly guy, off the air (on the air, he's the friggin' Tazmanian Devil), and I signed a copy of the book for him, even though he admitted to being primarily a fan of the Other Franchise (those touchy-feely Prime Directive wussies . . .).
And we had a Dead Cities sighting -- Hey, cl, glad you made it . . .
The saddest part of the event was when one guy asked me, "If you had written the rest of the NJO [post-TRAITOR], would Jacen have gotten together with Tenel Ka?" and I had to tell him the truth. Because that's who I am: straight question, straight answer.
I didn't tell him the rest of the things that WOULD have happened if I'd written the rest of the NJO. I didn't want to give the poor bastard nightmares.
And now, we interrupt this blog for an Unsolicited Testimonial:
When I left on tour, I took a couple books with me, one of which was Stephen R. Donaldson's RUNES OF THE EARTH, Book One of the Last Chronicles of Thomas Covenant.
In the interests of full disclosure, I'm going to tell you that I've had the honor of meeting Steve Donaldson a few times since I've been in the biz, and I'm proud to claim him as a friend.
That, however, has absolutely nothing to do with the following.
This book ROCKS.
Listen: Stephen R. Donaldson's Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever is the main reason I'm a novelist today. I read those books when they came out back in the late Seventies -- just as I was entering college -- and they were literally the epiphany that revealed to me that grown-up fantasy literature could be exactly that.
Grown-up. Literature.
While I was in college the Second Chronicles came out, and I love them too.
He was using a fantastic setting and events that resonated on a mythic scale to examine real-life issues of guilt, power, duty and responsibility, love and loss and gods I don't know what all, and those books rocked my world and all I've ever tried to do is knock people over the way those books knocked me.
And no too long ago he brought out his first new novel about the Land and Covenant's legacy in twenty years, and I've just been too busy (with REVENGE OF THE SITH, by no coincidence at all, and with CAINE BLACK KNIFE) to read it . . .
Until now. I finished it just before I got on the flight back to Chicago.
I confess to being a fan: Mordant's Need and DAUGHTER OF REGALS and REAVE THE JUST and the Gap . . . But nonetheless, the Land is the Land.
I'm here to tell you that the Land is STILL the Land.
Vintage Donaldson. Like great wine.
Loved it.
Did my first LIVE TV interview, in the Fox Morning News studio with Tamron Hall and David Navarro. They were great -- it was just like chatting with somebody in their living room. Somebody you've never met before. In a living room with only one wall. And lots of cameras and really bright lights. For a total of three and a half minutes.
I haven't seen the tape yet, but I've been told it went really well.
When David Navarro pushed me for a spoiler, I told him "Jar-Jar Binks has a very, VERY tiny part . . ."
Which got applause from the camera crew and sound guy.
Then we whipped over to the Merchandise Mart to do the Mancow in the Morning show on WKQX FM -- Q101 to you Chicago types -- and those of you who live in Chicago know who the Mancow is already.
It was live. It was fun. It was half an hour of deflecting questions about whether Darth Vader is secretly gay and refers to his weapon as a . . . well, he could say it on the radio, but I'm not gonna put it in print on a G-rated AOL blog, that's for damn sure.
So I just gave him a flat deadpan that all this was covered by the confidentiality clause in my contract . . .
Anyway, he turns out to be a really friendly guy, off the air (on the air, he's the friggin' Tazmanian Devil), and I signed a copy of the book for him, even though he admitted to being primarily a fan of the Other Franchise (those touchy-feely Prime Directive wussies . . .).
And we had a Dead Cities sighting -- Hey, cl, glad you made it . . .
The saddest part of the event was when one guy asked me, "If you had written the rest of the NJO [post-TRAITOR], would Jacen have gotten together with Tenel Ka?" and I had to tell him the truth. Because that's who I am: straight question, straight answer.
I didn't tell him the rest of the things that WOULD have happened if I'd written the rest of the NJO. I didn't want to give the poor bastard nightmares.
And now, we interrupt this blog for an Unsolicited Testimonial:
When I left on tour, I took a couple books with me, one of which was Stephen R. Donaldson's RUNES OF THE EARTH, Book One of the Last Chronicles of Thomas Covenant.
In the interests of full disclosure, I'm going to tell you that I've had the honor of meeting Steve Donaldson a few times since I've been in the biz, and I'm proud to claim him as a friend.
That, however, has absolutely nothing to do with the following.
This book ROCKS.
Listen: Stephen R. Donaldson's Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever is the main reason I'm a novelist today. I read those books when they came out back in the late Seventies -- just as I was entering college -- and they were literally the epiphany that revealed to me that grown-up fantasy literature could be exactly that.
Grown-up. Literature.
While I was in college the Second Chronicles came out, and I love them too.
He was using a fantastic setting and events that resonated on a mythic scale to examine real-life issues of guilt, power, duty and responsibility, love and loss and gods I don't know what all, and those books rocked my world and all I've ever tried to do is knock people over the way those books knocked me.
And no too long ago he brought out his first new novel about the Land and Covenant's legacy in twenty years, and I've just been too busy (with REVENGE OF THE SITH, by no coincidence at all, and with CAINE BLACK KNIFE) to read it . . .
Until now. I finished it just before I got on the flight back to Chicago.
I confess to being a fan: Mordant's Need and DAUGHTER OF REGALS and REAVE THE JUST and the Gap . . . But nonetheless, the Land is the Land.
I'm here to tell you that the Land is STILL the Land.
Vintage Donaldson. Like great wine.
Loved it.
Sunday, April 10
For regular readers, I have to apologize for the generalized reportorial tone of this and the last few posts -- and for what will be the next ones, too. These have to serve double duty. In case you didn't know, my tour blog is also being carried on the AOL MovieFone site, and so I'm keeping it G-Rated.
So there's no ratcock goatfucking in the text. For a while anyway.
Jacksonville --
Beautiful city. Which I know is hard to believe for people who haven't been here for a few years. But this place just sparkles. Everything is bright and clean, the buildings look freshly scrubbed, the bridges are painted and lit at night and everything's open and full of trees and man, I just really liked it a lot.
Had my first Big-Time Local TV interview -- nice warm-up for Chicago, where I face the Fox Morning crew. Down here it was the lovely and professional Kathleen O'Toole, at the WTLV studio, which has the unusual distinction of being double-affiliated -- apparently it's both NBC *and* ABC . . . exactly how that works in prime-time is more than I can fathom, but hey, programming ain't my department. I just sit in the chair and answer questions.
And Justin? I was indeed wearing the shirt . . .
And thanks to Betty Metz and her immaculate snow-white Mercedes, I was early for the interview and the event, and managed to enjoy my very first bison tenderloin at a Ted's Montana Grill (or whatever the hell Turner's chain is calling itself these days). Anyway, it was Betty's suggestion, and it was outstanding, as was her company.
Which brings us to the Books-A-Million event at the Orange Park Mall, which was . . .
Massive.
For me, anyway. About two hundred and fifty people stood around to listen to me read the Introduction and answer a few questions, then waited in a line (some for more than two hours! after driving more than two hours! -- they really DO understand the Power of the Dark Side . . .) that just seemed to keep growing and growing and growing.
Thanks again to the 501st, and to the Jax FanForce for coming out -- here we had our first appearance by Mara Jade, which is also, I believe, the first appearance by a 100% EU character. Seeing as how the film of REVENGE OF THE SITH will be the very first one to feature a cameo by a character created for the EU, I thought it was exceedingly appropriate.
Also fielded a question from the audience about CAINE BLACK KNIFE -- my current post-Star Wars project, for those newbies out there -- that this morning, from checking the legendary fan-forum TheForce.Net, I discovered came from none other than the legendary Errant Venture himself!
EV -- you should have ID'd yourself by handle, man . . . I don't recognize you guys by your *real* names, y'know.
Now I'm on my way to Chicago, for my one and only Day Off, before the Big Borders Event on State Street, Monday at 12:30.
Chicago fantypes, we'll see youse guys dere!
So there's no ratcock goatfucking in the text. For a while anyway.
Jacksonville --
Beautiful city. Which I know is hard to believe for people who haven't been here for a few years. But this place just sparkles. Everything is bright and clean, the buildings look freshly scrubbed, the bridges are painted and lit at night and everything's open and full of trees and man, I just really liked it a lot.
Had my first Big-Time Local TV interview -- nice warm-up for Chicago, where I face the Fox Morning crew. Down here it was the lovely and professional Kathleen O'Toole, at the WTLV studio, which has the unusual distinction of being double-affiliated -- apparently it's both NBC *and* ABC . . . exactly how that works in prime-time is more than I can fathom, but hey, programming ain't my department. I just sit in the chair and answer questions.
And Justin? I was indeed wearing the shirt . . .
And thanks to Betty Metz and her immaculate snow-white Mercedes, I was early for the interview and the event, and managed to enjoy my very first bison tenderloin at a Ted's Montana Grill (or whatever the hell Turner's chain is calling itself these days). Anyway, it was Betty's suggestion, and it was outstanding, as was her company.
Which brings us to the Books-A-Million event at the Orange Park Mall, which was . . .
Massive.
For me, anyway. About two hundred and fifty people stood around to listen to me read the Introduction and answer a few questions, then waited in a line (some for more than two hours! after driving more than two hours! -- they really DO understand the Power of the Dark Side . . .) that just seemed to keep growing and growing and growing.
Thanks again to the 501st, and to the Jax FanForce for coming out -- here we had our first appearance by Mara Jade, which is also, I believe, the first appearance by a 100% EU character. Seeing as how the film of REVENGE OF THE SITH will be the very first one to feature a cameo by a character created for the EU, I thought it was exceedingly appropriate.
Also fielded a question from the audience about CAINE BLACK KNIFE -- my current post-Star Wars project, for those newbies out there -- that this morning, from checking the legendary fan-forum TheForce.Net, I discovered came from none other than the legendary Errant Venture himself!
EV -- you should have ID'd yourself by handle, man . . . I don't recognize you guys by your *real* names, y'know.
Now I'm on my way to Chicago, for my one and only Day Off, before the Big Borders Event on State Street, Monday at 12:30.
Chicago fantypes, we'll see youse guys dere!
Saturday, April 9
April 8
Leaving Washington DC --
Finally on a jet-sized jet, and thank the gods for it, too, because Zeus is having a little fun with us today: we're bouncing around like a handful of jumping beans inside a pachinko machine.
DC was a great stop, at least partly due to the Organizator, Paul Peachey, my escort for both days. He could give lessons to C-3P0. This guy had a mental map of all the major bookstores en route to the events, and had them primed and prepared for our arrival so that -- both days -- I had stock-signed something like 300 books before I even got to the actual signings. Both days. He claimed his secret plan was to make UNsigned copies into the DC-area Hot Collectible . . .
Thanks again to the 501st, out for both events. At Olssons, we even had a published SFF novelist as the Sith in Black Armor Himself: no less than Roger Sharp, author of PSYCLONE.
Did an interview with Eye On Books' Bill Thompson, who (as it happens) is a Downstate Illinoisian like myself. I'm counting on that homestate connection; maybe he'll edit out any idiot remarks that may have slipped through the clutch-gap between my second-gear brain and fifth-gear mouth.
And I had a live -- or semi-live tape-delay -- interview on a Jacksonville morning-zoo-style radio show that included a Star Wars Geek-Off against their resident fandroid, whose name is claimed to be Amadeus. This, I must point out, was not only at ten minutes before eight this morning, but until I picked up the phone I had no idea it was going to be
1) live,
2) raucous, and
3) mildly razzing on Us Fans.
I can hold my own, though. When they asked me who was the weirdest geek I'd had to deal with at a signing so far, I told them, "Oh, they never get really bad -- it's not like they're talk radio hosts or anything . . ."
Leaving Washington DC --
Finally on a jet-sized jet, and thank the gods for it, too, because Zeus is having a little fun with us today: we're bouncing around like a handful of jumping beans inside a pachinko machine.
DC was a great stop, at least partly due to the Organizator, Paul Peachey, my escort for both days. He could give lessons to C-3P0. This guy had a mental map of all the major bookstores en route to the events, and had them primed and prepared for our arrival so that -- both days -- I had stock-signed something like 300 books before I even got to the actual signings. Both days. He claimed his secret plan was to make UNsigned copies into the DC-area Hot Collectible . . .
Thanks again to the 501st, out for both events. At Olssons, we even had a published SFF novelist as the Sith in Black Armor Himself: no less than Roger Sharp, author of PSYCLONE.
Did an interview with Eye On Books' Bill Thompson, who (as it happens) is a Downstate Illinoisian like myself. I'm counting on that homestate connection; maybe he'll edit out any idiot remarks that may have slipped through the clutch-gap between my second-gear brain and fifth-gear mouth.
And I had a live -- or semi-live tape-delay -- interview on a Jacksonville morning-zoo-style radio show that included a Star Wars Geek-Off against their resident fandroid, whose name is claimed to be Amadeus. This, I must point out, was not only at ten minutes before eight this morning, but until I picked up the phone I had no idea it was going to be
1) live,
2) raucous, and
3) mildly razzing on Us Fans.
I can hold my own, though. When they asked me who was the weirdest geek I'd had to deal with at a signing so far, I told them, "Oh, they never get really bad -- it's not like they're talk radio hosts or anything . . ."
Thursday, April 7
Posting a day late, due to Internet problems at the previous hotel and extreme exhaustion last night . . .
The Buffalo Barnes and Noble put on a great event; I don't have the final numbers, but I'm pretty sure we sold around two hundred books tonight, and the North Ridge -- Buffalo FanForce -- came out in force, if you can stand the tired half a pun, and we had our very first Chewbacca, eight feet tall and hairy as a Neanderthal on Rogaine. He was popular, too -- I signed one book for a B&N employee who called herself WookieeLover . . .
I guess -- unlike Princess Leia -- she WOULD rather kiss a Wookiee.
This event also saw the first Luke Skywalker of the tour. Just think: only hours old, and already walking, talking and carrying a lightsaber . . .
My TV interview was with a terrific kid named Colin, who was doing the interview for his school's CCTV news, and it was a gas. He'll probably end up anchoring 60 MINUTES.
The store manager had me sign the rest of the stock -- about 250 (!) more books, because he figured that when the article in the newspaper came out (I did a brief interview before the event) they'd sell 'em before the end of the week . . .
He also told me that as of tomorrow -- that is, today, Wednesday -- REVENGE OF THE SITH would be appearing on the Barnes & Noble Bestsellers list, which is very cool indeed.
Apologies to the wonderful fans from North Ridge for my abject failure to hang out post-event -- I barely managed to keep my eyes open long enough to get room service at the hotel -- and thanks for the honorary induction and the plaque; I'll be starting a tour wall in my office, and yours will be the first one hung, provided I can get it home intact.
Now I'm off to Washington for my first INTENTIONAL two-day stopover of the tour.
The Buffalo Barnes and Noble put on a great event; I don't have the final numbers, but I'm pretty sure we sold around two hundred books tonight, and the North Ridge -- Buffalo FanForce -- came out in force, if you can stand the tired half a pun, and we had our very first Chewbacca, eight feet tall and hairy as a Neanderthal on Rogaine. He was popular, too -- I signed one book for a B&N employee who called herself WookieeLover . . .
I guess -- unlike Princess Leia -- she WOULD rather kiss a Wookiee.
This event also saw the first Luke Skywalker of the tour. Just think: only hours old, and already walking, talking and carrying a lightsaber . . .
My TV interview was with a terrific kid named Colin, who was doing the interview for his school's CCTV news, and it was a gas. He'll probably end up anchoring 60 MINUTES.
The store manager had me sign the rest of the stock -- about 250 (!) more books, because he figured that when the article in the newspaper came out (I did a brief interview before the event) they'd sell 'em before the end of the week . . .
He also told me that as of tomorrow -- that is, today, Wednesday -- REVENGE OF THE SITH would be appearing on the Barnes & Noble Bestsellers list, which is very cool indeed.
Apologies to the wonderful fans from North Ridge for my abject failure to hang out post-event -- I barely managed to keep my eyes open long enough to get room service at the hotel -- and thanks for the honorary induction and the plaque; I'll be starting a tour wall in my office, and yours will be the first one hung, provided I can get it home intact.
Now I'm off to Washington for my first INTENTIONAL two-day stopover of the tour.
Tuesday, April 5
Dateline Boston, Logan Airport --
which is pretty damned nice in and of itself.
I got flagged as a security risk by US Airways, and so was subjected to my very first full patdown. Despite my request, said frisk was NOT performed by the nice-looking young brunette, but rather by a cheerfully efficient middle-aged bald guy.
Maybe I'll have better luck with my first strip-search.
Anyway, they were very thorough, which I actually appreciated. I thanked them when they were done. I WANT them to be thorough. That's what they're there for.
So the event at the Harvard Coop last night was pretty cool. About sixty or seventy people -- less then I was hoping for -- but the intro I got from the event coordinator was so good I wish I had a copy to post on this blog. This guy had not only read the book, but he understands exactly what is involved in making a novel out of a novelization . . . he was great, and I don't even remember his name. Richard was his first name; I didn't get his last.
And another thing: a young man offered an essay to me in a white envelope, one that he'd written for his English class. And I am such a thoughtless, ignorant, puddle-brained bastard that I somehow let it get buried in the stock signing I did after the event and left it behind.
But this is where the people at the Coop -- led by the aforementioned Richard and the thoughtful Karen Porter (whose name I know because she's the contact on my itinerary) -- they found it, and they're sending it to a certain very good friend of mine . . . along with a copy of Richard introductory essay. Which I hope he'll give me permission to post.
As for the young man's English paper -- I won't forget it again. I'll read it, and I'll tell you what I think of it. I promise.
Now, on to the reason I became the aforementioned puddle-brained bastard. The reason I can't even remember the name of the guy who gave me that stellar introduction. It's that aforementioned very good friend of mine.
It was because when I was walking in to do the event, I bumped into Bob Salvatore.
BOB FUCKING SALVATORE CAME TO MY BOOK SIGNING.
Just showed up. Because he's a great guy, and a really good friend, and he knew I'd already be more than ready to see a familiar face.
It was a gas. Shit, he asked the first question in the Q&A. I didn't point him out to the audience because, frankly, it was MY book signing and people would have instantly stopped paying attention to what I was saying because I may be Matthew Woodring Stover but he's Bob fucking Salvatore, y'know? I also didn't know if any of the fanboys in the audience still might be carrying a grudge over the unexpected Major Character demise in VECTOR PRIME . . . in fact, one of them admitted to me privately that he had been among those slagging Bob online back when VP came out, but that he'd since changed his mind about the book and thought it was really good. I told him that he probably shouldn't mention the part about the online slagging . . .
I did get to tell the story of how Bob and Mike Stackpole bullied me into writing Star Wars in the first place, and after the Q&A he came up to the table with me and hung out, which was really cool -- he didn't push himself in at all, but the fans who recognized him were kinda knocked out to find the authors of AotC and RotS together again for the first time.
I also got to have dinner with him afterwards -- hell, he even picked up the check, which'll make Colleen's tour-budgeteers smile . . .
While I'm talking Boston, I have to plug the Hotel Commonwealth, which was absolutely stellar -- the accomodations are lovely and the staff was impeccable. Listen, in my other life I work in a hotel; I know exactly what it takes to maintain even competence, let alone mastery. I have never received finer service.
I also should mention the hotel restaurant, Great Bay, which was INCREDIBLE. I worked four years in a four-star restaurant, under two of the finest chefs in the United States. I know a little bit about good food. The diver-caught sea scallops with blood-orange reduction over risotto-style Carolina rice were so good that they bafffle my powers of description. Bob and his buddy were similarly stunned by the sheer, stupendous goodness of everything they tasted. I saw a sign by the door that said Esquire Magazine had named Great Bay as the best new restaurant in Boston. Well, I haven't been to any other restaurants in Boston, but I've been to plenty in plenty of other cities, and the food here was as good as any I have ever had in my mouth. Period.
And I have to mention Jim and Ginny Bride, who were my escorts. They were both great -- great company, enthusiastic and indefatigable tour guides, friendly and knowledgable and all-around swell: setting the standard to which all other escorts will have trouble living up to.
Off to Buffalo!
Update --
Here I am in Buffalo. Just had some wings. They're better in Chicago.
Now I'm off for my very first TV appearance in which I play myself . . .
Tally Ho!
which is pretty damned nice in and of itself.
I got flagged as a security risk by US Airways, and so was subjected to my very first full patdown. Despite my request, said frisk was NOT performed by the nice-looking young brunette, but rather by a cheerfully efficient middle-aged bald guy.
Maybe I'll have better luck with my first strip-search.
Anyway, they were very thorough, which I actually appreciated. I thanked them when they were done. I WANT them to be thorough. That's what they're there for.
So the event at the Harvard Coop last night was pretty cool. About sixty or seventy people -- less then I was hoping for -- but the intro I got from the event coordinator was so good I wish I had a copy to post on this blog. This guy had not only read the book, but he understands exactly what is involved in making a novel out of a novelization . . . he was great, and I don't even remember his name. Richard was his first name; I didn't get his last.
And another thing: a young man offered an essay to me in a white envelope, one that he'd written for his English class. And I am such a thoughtless, ignorant, puddle-brained bastard that I somehow let it get buried in the stock signing I did after the event and left it behind.
But this is where the people at the Coop -- led by the aforementioned Richard and the thoughtful Karen Porter (whose name I know because she's the contact on my itinerary) -- they found it, and they're sending it to a certain very good friend of mine . . . along with a copy of Richard introductory essay. Which I hope he'll give me permission to post.
As for the young man's English paper -- I won't forget it again. I'll read it, and I'll tell you what I think of it. I promise.
Now, on to the reason I became the aforementioned puddle-brained bastard. The reason I can't even remember the name of the guy who gave me that stellar introduction. It's that aforementioned very good friend of mine.
It was because when I was walking in to do the event, I bumped into Bob Salvatore.
BOB FUCKING SALVATORE CAME TO MY BOOK SIGNING.
Just showed up. Because he's a great guy, and a really good friend, and he knew I'd already be more than ready to see a familiar face.
It was a gas. Shit, he asked the first question in the Q&A. I didn't point him out to the audience because, frankly, it was MY book signing and people would have instantly stopped paying attention to what I was saying because I may be Matthew Woodring Stover but he's Bob fucking Salvatore, y'know? I also didn't know if any of the fanboys in the audience still might be carrying a grudge over the unexpected Major Character demise in VECTOR PRIME . . . in fact, one of them admitted to me privately that he had been among those slagging Bob online back when VP came out, but that he'd since changed his mind about the book and thought it was really good. I told him that he probably shouldn't mention the part about the online slagging . . .
I did get to tell the story of how Bob and Mike Stackpole bullied me into writing Star Wars in the first place, and after the Q&A he came up to the table with me and hung out, which was really cool -- he didn't push himself in at all, but the fans who recognized him were kinda knocked out to find the authors of AotC and RotS together again for the first time.
I also got to have dinner with him afterwards -- hell, he even picked up the check, which'll make Colleen's tour-budgeteers smile . . .
While I'm talking Boston, I have to plug the Hotel Commonwealth, which was absolutely stellar -- the accomodations are lovely and the staff was impeccable. Listen, in my other life I work in a hotel; I know exactly what it takes to maintain even competence, let alone mastery. I have never received finer service.
I also should mention the hotel restaurant, Great Bay, which was INCREDIBLE. I worked four years in a four-star restaurant, under two of the finest chefs in the United States. I know a little bit about good food. The diver-caught sea scallops with blood-orange reduction over risotto-style Carolina rice were so good that they bafffle my powers of description. Bob and his buddy were similarly stunned by the sheer, stupendous goodness of everything they tasted. I saw a sign by the door that said Esquire Magazine had named Great Bay as the best new restaurant in Boston. Well, I haven't been to any other restaurants in Boston, but I've been to plenty in plenty of other cities, and the food here was as good as any I have ever had in my mouth. Period.
And I have to mention Jim and Ginny Bride, who were my escorts. They were both great -- great company, enthusiastic and indefatigable tour guides, friendly and knowledgable and all-around swell: setting the standard to which all other escorts will have trouble living up to.
Off to Buffalo!
Update --
Here I am in Buffalo. Just had some wings. They're better in Chicago.
Now I'm off for my very first TV appearance in which I play myself . . .
Tally Ho!
Monday, April 4
Leaving Raleigh --
I'm off to Boston on the smallest friggin' jet I've ever been on. It's about the size of my car. If we have to make an emergency landing, I'll put the goddamn thing in my pocket and WALK the rest of the way.
I'd be remiss if I didn't mention one of the truly coolest feature of the event at Quail Ridge the other night. The event coordinator -- the guy who introduced me -- is Clay Griffith.
Who is the current writer of THE TICK.
No, I'm not kidding.
I AM NOT WORTHY. I AM NOT WORTHY.
He's decidedly cool, too -- about my age, but better looking. And with great hair.
Saw the AP news release. Funny how stuff gets twisted around. I really have to learn to just say No Fucking Comment.
I mean, this guy was asking me WHY I wrote REVENGE OF THE SITH. Simple question. And I told him the truth: I jumped at the chance to be part of the the most important cultural pop-mythic cycle in American history. Not to mention that the money's good, and the exposure's great.
So he jumps on the money. "How much did you get paid?"
Being WASPY, I don't want to say. That's where I should have said No Fucking Comment.
"Was it huge?"
"No."
"Can I say it was a six-figure advance?"
"Uh, well, no --"
"Not even six-figures? Jeez."
"Look, I --"
"High five figures?"
"Yeah, sure. High five figures."
"And royalties?"
"Writing Star Wars isn't about the royalties -- the royalties aren't much for tie-in fiction. It's about the exposure -- I go from a respected but little-known fantasy writers to one of the best-known-fantasy writers in America practically overniight. But mostly it's what I was talking about before --"
And somehow, in the article, the whole business about the privilege of being able to participate in the central pop-cultural mythic cycle of the 20th Century just got lost in the shuffle . . .
I'll know better next time.
I'm off to Boston on the smallest friggin' jet I've ever been on. It's about the size of my car. If we have to make an emergency landing, I'll put the goddamn thing in my pocket and WALK the rest of the way.
I'd be remiss if I didn't mention one of the truly coolest feature of the event at Quail Ridge the other night. The event coordinator -- the guy who introduced me -- is Clay Griffith.
Who is the current writer of THE TICK.
No, I'm not kidding.
I AM NOT WORTHY. I AM NOT WORTHY.
He's decidedly cool, too -- about my age, but better looking. And with great hair.
Saw the AP news release. Funny how stuff gets twisted around. I really have to learn to just say No Fucking Comment.
I mean, this guy was asking me WHY I wrote REVENGE OF THE SITH. Simple question. And I told him the truth: I jumped at the chance to be part of the the most important cultural pop-mythic cycle in American history. Not to mention that the money's good, and the exposure's great.
So he jumps on the money. "How much did you get paid?"
Being WASPY, I don't want to say. That's where I should have said No Fucking Comment.
"Was it huge?"
"No."
"Can I say it was a six-figure advance?"
"Uh, well, no --"
"Not even six-figures? Jeez."
"Look, I --"
"High five figures?"
"Yeah, sure. High five figures."
"And royalties?"
"Writing Star Wars isn't about the royalties -- the royalties aren't much for tie-in fiction. It's about the exposure -- I go from a respected but little-known fantasy writers to one of the best-known-fantasy writers in America practically overniight. But mostly it's what I was talking about before --"
And somehow, in the article, the whole business about the privilege of being able to participate in the central pop-cultural mythic cycle of the 20th Century just got lost in the shuffle . . .
I'll know better next time.
Sunday, April 3
Raleigh NC April 2 (& 3rd . . . see below)
Raleigh NC April 2 (& 3rd . . . see below)
The Great Friggin' Gonzo Revenge of the Sith Tour is officially under way!
Kicked it off this afternoon at Wal-Mart SuperCenter Store #5118 in Raleigh NC, and it was a party . . . the whole staff was so pumped to sell Star Wars that I had to do a 45-minute meet & greet in the employee lunch-room before the actual event -- and I think I signed more books for the employees than I did for the customers.
Which is cool by me.
A sale's a sale, baby . . .
And the NC Garrison of the 501st Storm Trooper Battalion turned out, too, so that I had a pair of clone troopers, a Red Guard, an Imperial pilot, Boba friggin' Fett and Darth by-God VADER doing CROWD control . . .
It was pretty cool.
And I got to meet in person for the very first time one of my long-time friends, HAWKi102, who I've been corresponding with for a couple years now, and discover that he's a perfectly normal-looking guy, with a very understanding moms-type in tow. Great to meet you, Steve.
Why do I always expect my fans to look like demented homeless cattle-mutilators?
And there was Shane, too (aka tyshalle83, brave lad) -- also entirely human. And towing the lovely Allison (did I get your name right? I met a lot of people today) [EDIT: AMBER, dammit, sorry about that], thus proving that my fans are not only handsome folk, but attractive to the opposite sex.
How did this happen?
In fact, over all, I'd have to say that my fans are all singularly goodlooking people (in addition to their obvious intelligence and stellar taste).
Later --
Did my first reading -- at Quail Ridge, a vastly cool independent store here. Of course, I'm kind of a small-timer round these parts, seeing as how they've also recently hosted none other than the legendary Zahn . . . not to mention Greg Keyes . . .
The 501st was here as well, and this time they hung out after the event and took off the armor -- without getting conspicuously naked, so forget about pictures -- and took me out to dinner, and proved my earlier contention applies not only to my fans, but to Star Wars fans in general.
I mean, I've been to a LOT of cons. SFF fans are a pack of scruffy-lookin' nerfherders, and not only will few of them deny it, most would be offended if I were to suggest otherwise.
Star Wars fans, tho' . . . these are good-looking people. I mean, you can't squeeze a fat ass into that storm trooper armor, you know what I mean? Hell, one of the troopers at Wal-Mart was a REAL trooper -- he could honest-to-Christ quickdraw his friggin' blaster, because he's an honest-to-Christ deputy sheriff. Two others are officers in the Air Force, for Christ's sake -- there was Navy represented, too. These aren't your Living-in-Mom's-Basement-Wearing-Spock-Ears types, y'know?
Later still --
Hey, Raleigh loves me so much it doesn't want to let me go. The US Airways shuttle to Pittsburgh turned around in midair and went back to the airport. In Pittsburgh. It never even got here. And then it was cancelled without explanation. And then US Airways politely explained that all other flights to Pittsburgh were already overbooked. Until 10:50 PM, which would make me a bit late for my 2:00 Talk & Signing at the Barnes & Noble #2898 on Freeport, which will consequently be deprived of my company.
Sorry, folks. Shit happens. Apparently it happens to US Airways quite a bit -- the next thing they did was start taking volunteers to skip the oversold flight to New York that was the next one out of the same gate . . .
The good news is that I get to spend an extra night in the Raleigh Sheraton, where people are very nice to me indeed, and the food's really good, and the Young Christian conference that was having a picnic in the hallway outside my room yesterday (no, I'm not kidding) seems to have evaporated, so I'm gonna quit blathering on about things now and get to work on CAINE BLACK KNIFE.
I'll see folks in Boston tomorrow . . .
The Great Friggin' Gonzo Revenge of the Sith Tour is officially under way!
Kicked it off this afternoon at Wal-Mart SuperCenter Store #5118 in Raleigh NC, and it was a party . . . the whole staff was so pumped to sell Star Wars that I had to do a 45-minute meet & greet in the employee lunch-room before the actual event -- and I think I signed more books for the employees than I did for the customers.
Which is cool by me.
A sale's a sale, baby . . .
And the NC Garrison of the 501st Storm Trooper Battalion turned out, too, so that I had a pair of clone troopers, a Red Guard, an Imperial pilot, Boba friggin' Fett and Darth by-God VADER doing CROWD control . . .
It was pretty cool.
And I got to meet in person for the very first time one of my long-time friends, HAWKi102, who I've been corresponding with for a couple years now, and discover that he's a perfectly normal-looking guy, with a very understanding moms-type in tow. Great to meet you, Steve.
Why do I always expect my fans to look like demented homeless cattle-mutilators?
And there was Shane, too (aka tyshalle83, brave lad) -- also entirely human. And towing the lovely Allison (did I get your name right? I met a lot of people today) [EDIT: AMBER, dammit, sorry about that], thus proving that my fans are not only handsome folk, but attractive to the opposite sex.
How did this happen?
In fact, over all, I'd have to say that my fans are all singularly goodlooking people (in addition to their obvious intelligence and stellar taste).
Later --
Did my first reading -- at Quail Ridge, a vastly cool independent store here. Of course, I'm kind of a small-timer round these parts, seeing as how they've also recently hosted none other than the legendary Zahn . . . not to mention Greg Keyes . . .
The 501st was here as well, and this time they hung out after the event and took off the armor -- without getting conspicuously naked, so forget about pictures -- and took me out to dinner, and proved my earlier contention applies not only to my fans, but to Star Wars fans in general.
I mean, I've been to a LOT of cons. SFF fans are a pack of scruffy-lookin' nerfherders, and not only will few of them deny it, most would be offended if I were to suggest otherwise.
Star Wars fans, tho' . . . these are good-looking people. I mean, you can't squeeze a fat ass into that storm trooper armor, you know what I mean? Hell, one of the troopers at Wal-Mart was a REAL trooper -- he could honest-to-Christ quickdraw his friggin' blaster, because he's an honest-to-Christ deputy sheriff. Two others are officers in the Air Force, for Christ's sake -- there was Navy represented, too. These aren't your Living-in-Mom's-Basement-Wearing-Spock-Ears types, y'know?
Later still --
Hey, Raleigh loves me so much it doesn't want to let me go. The US Airways shuttle to Pittsburgh turned around in midair and went back to the airport. In Pittsburgh. It never even got here. And then it was cancelled without explanation. And then US Airways politely explained that all other flights to Pittsburgh were already overbooked. Until 10:50 PM, which would make me a bit late for my 2:00 Talk & Signing at the Barnes & Noble #2898 on Freeport, which will consequently be deprived of my company.
Sorry, folks. Shit happens. Apparently it happens to US Airways quite a bit -- the next thing they did was start taking volunteers to skip the oversold flight to New York that was the next one out of the same gate . . .
The good news is that I get to spend an extra night in the Raleigh Sheraton, where people are very nice to me indeed, and the food's really good, and the Young Christian conference that was having a picnic in the hallway outside my room yesterday (no, I'm not kidding) seems to have evaporated, so I'm gonna quit blathering on about things now and get to work on CAINE BLACK KNIFE.
I'll see folks in Boston tomorrow . . .
Friday, March 25
Haven't been here for a while, largely because there has been some Classified Shit going on that I just can't write about, and when I can't write about what's on my mind, I don't write at all.
But we're getting down to the wire, here.
The Great Friggin' Gonzo Revenge of the Sith Tour gets under way a week from tomorrow, and here's the latest:
1) I still don't have an official itinerary. I know what cities I'm going to because I downloaded the schedule from The Force.Net (and I got a supplementary list from Colleen when we talked on Tuesday). But I don't have flight or hotel info. At all. Colleen? You listening?
(Though to be fair, I'm teasing her a little. She only promised me the itinerary by the end of this week, which in Publisher Time means before the close of business next Thursday.)
2) Though the book seems to be all over the goddamn Internet by now, nobody's sent an advance copy to ME . . . which means I get to go through security checks with a one-way ticket. Loads of fun. "No, REALLY, I'm on a BOOK tour . . . well, I don't have the book WITH me . . ."
3) I am damned close to broke. It's been a (to paraphrase George Harrison) long cold lonely fucking winter. [EDITED BY THE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.]
4) My meds are only half working. I'm mobile and functioning and will remain so, but can I just say . . . ow . . . ?
5) The AOL/Moviefone tour blog thing is still supposed to be happening, except they haven't gotten the software to me yet, and we're kinda running out of time.
6) I continue to maintain, despite how the above may read, my Jedi calm. This shit is entirely out of my hands; I leave success and failure entirely to the whims of the gods, the Force and the Random House publicity department, in that order. I will be squeezing every drop of enjoyment from my 15 minutes . . . er, 30 days . . . of nascent celebrity, and I continue to believe that somehow everything will work out just fine.
Because somehow it usually does.
It's not unlike working a blisteringly busy shift at a high-end restaurant -- which, as many of you know, I have done many, many times in my long career. When you're in the middle of it and things look like they're about to start going wrong, it seems like the fucking Apocalypse. But at the end of the shift, you count your money and go home. Meanwhile, nobody died.
Which is the main reason I became a bartender instead of a cop, a doctor, a fireman or a soldier.
And so far, nothing has ACTUALLY gone wrong. It's just the damned full-body migraine that makes it feel like it's going to, and I'll get over that by the time I'm on the flight to Raleigh.
Tally Ho!
But we're getting down to the wire, here.
The Great Friggin' Gonzo Revenge of the Sith Tour gets under way a week from tomorrow, and here's the latest:
1) I still don't have an official itinerary. I know what cities I'm going to because I downloaded the schedule from The Force.Net (and I got a supplementary list from Colleen when we talked on Tuesday). But I don't have flight or hotel info. At all. Colleen? You listening?
(Though to be fair, I'm teasing her a little. She only promised me the itinerary by the end of this week, which in Publisher Time means before the close of business next Thursday.)
2) Though the book seems to be all over the goddamn Internet by now, nobody's sent an advance copy to ME . . . which means I get to go through security checks with a one-way ticket. Loads of fun. "No, REALLY, I'm on a BOOK tour . . . well, I don't have the book WITH me . . ."
3) I am damned close to broke. It's been a (to paraphrase George Harrison) long cold lonely fucking winter. [EDITED BY THE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.]
4) My meds are only half working. I'm mobile and functioning and will remain so, but can I just say . . . ow . . . ?
5) The AOL/Moviefone tour blog thing is still supposed to be happening, except they haven't gotten the software to me yet, and we're kinda running out of time.
6) I continue to maintain, despite how the above may read, my Jedi calm. This shit is entirely out of my hands; I leave success and failure entirely to the whims of the gods, the Force and the Random House publicity department, in that order. I will be squeezing every drop of enjoyment from my 15 minutes . . . er, 30 days . . . of nascent celebrity, and I continue to believe that somehow everything will work out just fine.
Because somehow it usually does.
It's not unlike working a blisteringly busy shift at a high-end restaurant -- which, as many of you know, I have done many, many times in my long career. When you're in the middle of it and things look like they're about to start going wrong, it seems like the fucking Apocalypse. But at the end of the shift, you count your money and go home. Meanwhile, nobody died.
Which is the main reason I became a bartender instead of a cop, a doctor, a fireman or a soldier.
And so far, nothing has ACTUALLY gone wrong. It's just the damned full-body migraine that makes it feel like it's going to, and I'll get over that by the time I'm on the flight to Raleigh.
Tally Ho!
Monday, March 14
Geekgasm
Okay, I've officially had my first REVENGE OF THE SITH geekgasm.
I watched GWL's interview on 60 MINUTES last night, and thus got to see my first Actual Glimpses of The Duel. And some of the new Capital Ship combat.
Oy.
Listen: I KNOW EVERYTHING THAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN THIS FILM, AND I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT TO SEE IT.
I mean, let's face it: even you spoiler-free bastards are kiddin' yourselves, y'know? You already know everything important that's going to happen, too. You just don't know how it's going to look.
Well, neither do I.
But I got a hint of it last night.
Oy.
Oy muckersplatter freakin' geVALT.
I watched GWL's interview on 60 MINUTES last night, and thus got to see my first Actual Glimpses of The Duel. And some of the new Capital Ship combat.
Oy.
Listen: I KNOW EVERYTHING THAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN THIS FILM, AND I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT TO SEE IT.
I mean, let's face it: even you spoiler-free bastards are kiddin' yourselves, y'know? You already know everything important that's going to happen, too. You just don't know how it's going to look.
Well, neither do I.
But I got a hint of it last night.
Oy.
Oy muckersplatter freakin' geVALT.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)