Tuesday, March 1

I'm Ruined

I'm Fucking Ruined.

They're gonna throw me out of the Real Serious Writer's Club.

That's right: I've quit drinking.

Not by choice, I assure you. It was an experiment, at the behest of my beloved wife, to dry out for a while and see if avoiding the whole Scotch/bourbon/cognac Devil's Triangle helped my migraine syndrome.

Well, it didn't.

However . . . something in my metabolism (or my meds) has changed in the meantime. Everything tastes like crap. I can't even finish a solid dram without getting queasy -- shit, I can't even THINK about it without getting queasy.

Boy, I am in trouble now.

How am I gonna survive the Great Friggin' Gonzo Revenge of the Sith Tour stone cold rumphumpin' SOBER?

All I can do is start praying to Dionysios that I get over this before April 2 . . .


Anonymous said...

Yeah, Stover, sorry, but you're fucked.

Alcohol didn't bother me too much until I drank myself stupid and ended up with a SEVEN day hangover, of which during the first three days I couldn't stand for more than 15-20 seconds without dry heaving and needing to rush back to bed to stop the apartment walls from playing wheel of misfortune on me.

That was like, April of '02... I've drank very lightly maybe three times since then, and gagged every single time.

Hope the same thing doesn't happen to you. It'd be a damn tragedy if the sun ever rose in Ankhana.


Justin said...

S'easy Stove, start smoking joints.

Chris said...

Justin, man, have you read his alcohol induced work? DON'T GIVE THE MAN A JOINT! The world is not ready!

Matt, I was on the train today with a man who was keen. Keen to read. A man we're keen to have read.

Be happy.

Barb said...

I used to have a rule: clear alcohol only. Vodka, Rumpleminze, rum, etc. Try switching.

Angela said...

The stuff gives me migraines too. So I rarely drink. Sad, but it beats the pain. Gave up caffeine recently for the same reason. Dear God, what's next? Tell me it's not chocolate!

gabe said...

Jesus man, you better stay away from Minneapolis then... 'specially since I'll be buying.