Saturday, April 16

Well, crap.

I'm writing this from the armpit of international airports, the L.C. Smith Terminal at Detroit Metro. I was lucky enough to be hauled out of my hotel three hours before my flight -- and just before room service opens (the hotel restaurant is under construction, wouldn't you just know it) -- so I got here hungry and entirely decaffeinated . . .

Now, there IS a Starbucks. Of course. So that part is handled. The only restaurant in the ENTIRE TERMINAL is one pathetic cafeteria-line Quiznos that doesn't even have tables. The rest of the terminal strongly evokes a 70s-era Greyhound bus station, but without the charm.

So . . .

Minneapolis.

Wow.

The less said about the actual event, the better. Doing my Phil Donohue-on-crack impression from a stage in the four-story atrium of the Mall of America is an experience that will linger in my heart like the memory of my first colonoscopy. I won't deny a certain entertainment value: in that particular episode of the Movie of My Life, I think I was being played by Ben Stiller.

The fans, however, were not only tolerant in indulging my Thundering Four-Story Chrome-and-Glass Meltdown, but were enthusiastically egging me on . . .

Then dinner afterward, in which the astonishingly courageous Rebekah of the Minnesota FanForce braved my gang of Dead Cities hooligans and actually held her own, too. Even my smilingly wicked niece couldn't make her cry . . .

I won't go into details of the Dead Cities gang (plus friends and such) either, except to thank them for coming out -- Scott and Jenn and gabe and Joe and Claudia and Tom and Sarah (Did I get everybody's Real Name right?) -- largely because at least two of them are shortly to become considerably more famous than I am, and frankly, they just don't need the press.

Then off to Detroit, where my main memory is this friggin' airport, because my flight was delayed and there was a High-Speed Chase on the expressway (for real, and really serious, too: bank robbers and a shootout and injuries, and no jokes about it) which tangled up the roads, so we went straight from the airport to the event -- where Tom and Donna, Eldest Brother and Most Fabulous Sister-in-Law, were waiting -- and then from the event to the Original Borders store in Ann Arbor (which sleepy little college town ain't sleepy at all but in fact is HOPPIN' after eleven, would you believe it?) and then into bed after midnight, with the 5:30 wake-up so that I could catch the friggin' car and sit in this friggin' Greyhound terminal of an airport and whine about the hard life of the World Famous Star Wars Author.

Have I mentioned that I'm having a great time?

So I'm about to jump on a flight to Denver, where I actually get to stay TWO DAYS (thanks be to the gods, and to Colleen and Brandi) so that I can spend Saturday afternoon asleep in the mountain air . . .

21 comments:

Mastadge said...

Two of them? Who's the other one?

Anonymous said...

I'm with mastadge on this one, who's the second?

That being said, it was really really good to see you on Wednesday. Sorry I was kinda quiet, I've not been feeling too hot and was kinda tired. But I was very happy to see you and everyone else :)

-Jenn

MWS said...

My lips are sealed.

Chris said...

I'm still trying to put screen names to names for the last two...

The tour sounds like a real riot. I'm mega pissed that you can't come to London, who do I need to complain to about that? Haha. I could easily get you two hundred people in Borders, plus whoever the hell else showed up.

I picked up the novel at the weekend too, nice job. Keep on havin' fun and all that jazz!

gregg.dale@minimogul.com said...

Hey, man. I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear you were just in the Cities, and I didn't know it. My son especially would have died to have met you. (I don't think he really believes that I know you.) Maybe next time (or sometime after your schedule becomes maintainable again) I can talk you into a visit.

When I received the local SF store's Monthly news letter a couple of months ago and saw that you got the novelization for SWIII, I just about filled my pants. Way to go, Man! I've been telling everybody I know that I knew you when.

Take it easy on the tour. Stay sane (within your own particular parameters). Drop me a note sometime if you get a chance.

Cora said...

I feel your pain, Matt. I had my worst ever airport experience at Detroit. Worse even than a couple of Eastern European airports, which should say everything.

Scott Lynch said...

Oh, I'm definitely gonna remember this when it comes time to kill off a thinly-veiled analog character of yourself.

In every book I ever write.

Shit, including the non-fiction.

Andrew Timson said...

and then from the event to the Original Borders store in Ann Arbor (which sleepy little college town ain't sleepy at all but in fact is HOPPIN' after eleven, would you believe it?)

I would. But then, I live here. :)

Agreed about Detroit Metro. Even the new terminal they built recently is... unimpressive, to say the least. Hopefully it wasn't bad enough where you refuse to come back and do a signing when I can attend instead of studying for finals....

Adam said...

Just got back from your stop at the Barnes and Noble in Huntington Beach.

My buddy Sean (the one who asked the CBK question) and I had a blast.

It was really great to meet you and get my copies of HD, BoT, and RotS signed... and the signature's ruled.

"Did you really think I'd let you live?"

And there was the one about the goat...

They're perfect.

Thanks again Matt, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the tour.

Daniel S. said...

Hi, there. Just came across this. I missed out on the ROTS signing thing via signedpage.com and was wondering if you could send me an autographed post-it or something for my copy of ROTS. That would be great. You can contact me via my blogger profile.

Chris said...

Hey Matt you need to come back! I have nothing to read online once I'm down with Karen Traviss' blog!

(At least she's with me against Blair though...)

Seriously, where are ya?

Barb said...

Yeah, Matt--where are you? Off meditating somewhere?

I just now finished reading ROTS--wow! All I'll say is that I hope the movie is as good as the book. Seriously. I'm about to read the comics adaptation, as I'm just not sure when I'll get to the theater. I can't stand crowds and lines.

Haven't been to the D-berg as I've been in the hospital for the past month or so--long story, but I'll be done soon, I think. Take care!

--Barb

Anonymous said...

Movie's out. What are your feelings with it?

In shock, I think it was too much of that same Star Wars film and not as hardcore as your novel. I don't know if that's a compliment to you, the movie, neither, or both. They're very different, that's for sure, though still the same. I'm still, personally, not thinking straight over the whole experience.

-Capriccio

Shehzad said...

Matt, where are you?

Emilio Buonanni said...

Hi, my name is Emilio. I love your work.

I'm currently doing a report on you as an author and i was wondering if you could give me some interesting information for the presentation.

I can find out basic information like your previous accomplishments from site online. But it's the other stuff like writing style, writing process, when you write, how long you write a day. that kind of stuff.

If you want to get back to me that would be awesome, my email is tweek002005@yahoo.co.uk. Any kind of reply would be appreciated

Sands_Of_Time said...

Hey Stovey!
Love your work, I think most of it is written in a style that is original and impressive, and your use of language is elegant; with deeply insightful passages in places. When are you coming to London? I'll fix up a couple of Earl Greys! =D

Shawn Scarber said...

Been missing your sage advice. Hope everything's okay.

Anonymous said...

Hey, dumb question, but your name is totally familiar--are you from Glen Ellyn? + swear you went to my high school, but the late 70's college thing is a bit early.

Anonymous said...

Hey, dumb question, but your name is totally familiar--are you from Glen Ellyn? + swear you went to my high school, but the late 70's college thing is a bit early.

RobW said...

Maybe not from Glen Ellyn--I see you share a name with an NFL kicker. Perhaps that's why its so familiar.

Anonymous said...

well, there's two months!

matt, where are you? :(